Saturday, June 14, 2014


Good evening.

So it's finally the announcement day.
I was so lazy to get up and go.
By the time I got to school, they were lying and I ended up
going to school and did nothing.
Well I got to gather with my friends, so it was quite fun, I think.

And this morning, my crush was online on Facebook.
It was a bit unexpected getting replies from him.
I think he usually visit Facebook and then leave it like that
and go play some online games.

I said hi and talked about school.
He said he would come, so I changed my mind and quickly prepare for school.

But when I arrived, I think again, like "Oh, God, I'm not ready to see his face yet."
The last time I saw him it was last month.
Literally last month, 30 days ago.
I just didn't know what kind of expression should I wear.

So when I saw him around I just hide and try not to make any eye contact.

And when I think of that other girls who are better than me might caught his eyes,
I wish I didn't like him this much.
But still, I didn't wish to forget him.

I wonder if it could've been better if I didn't confess to him.

To be honest, I think humans in love are ドM.
If you've ever been in love I think you'd understand.

Oh yeah.

Tomorrow we'll have that prom night.
Actually, our graduation party.

He's going to be there performing with his guitar.
I really wish he's not that charming so other people won't fall for him.

We are supposed to wear kebaya, the modern one.

I don't think I'll look good....

All those pretty girls with slim body, nice legs, and white skin....
And he might fall for one of them....
Well, it hurts to know that they're so much better than me....

But, hey.
I'll tell you good things about myself.
I'm all ears if you need someone to talk to.
Plus, I understand games.
And I'm loyal.

Oh my God, such depressing topic.
I should end this here.

I'm going to post some photos at the prom.
See you tomorrow night.

Friday, June 13, 2014


Good evening.
How are you?
I'm doing fine.

Today is really hot.
I feel like the sun is burning my feet so I had to go to the toilet and
splash my feet with water.

So tomorrow is supposed to be the announcement for finals.
Like did you pass or not.

And someone from my class sent me a screenshot for the points.
I was like, what where did you got that before the announcement?
But forget that.
Guess what?
Yes, thank God I passed.

I got a quite good grade.
It's not too low and not that high.
As soon as I knew my grade, I told my parents about this.
And they didn't seem happy at all.

They didn't even said "Good job!" or "Well done!".
I myself am disappointed with my grade, and yet they didn't cheer me up.
That made me really, really seriously sad.

I feel like I won't hear any compliment from them before I got a perfect grade.

I don't want this anymore.
I'm not a genius.
I don't want my parents to put such high expectations on me.
I'm scared that I'll lose their trust.
I'm scared if I let them down.

I studied so hard before finals.
Like studying overnight, attending cram schools, group studies, and such things.
And I didn't get to hear a single word of compliment from them.

Just, screw everything.
What good does good grade do for me?
It's just a number.

I know that we need it to enter a good high school.
But that's not what I'm aiming to be.
I just wanted to be a composer and you never, never talked to me about it.

Sorry guys, I need time.
I think I'll have to end today's post here.
I'll post again if I feel better.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014


Good afternoon.

I have finished my finals a month ago.
I'm sorry that I haven't updated anything.
I was so tired and relieved over the fact that I have finished finals.
That hellish finals.

So it's a long holiday now.
And in 3 days, we'll have the finals announcement.
And on June 15th we are going to have a prom night.

I don't really like the idea.
It's the western tradition and it don't really fit the image of the Indonesian.
And it costs so much.
Like can we go somewhere instead of having a party in the hotel?

I don't know what humans want anymore.

And in this holiday, sadly I don't go on a vacation.
I wish I could go to Japan, but it's kinda impossible for now.

So I've finished finals, and that means I'm going to be a high schooler.
I'm going to enter a high school which holds a student exchange program.
I heard that there's an exchange to Japan, too.
So I hope I can go to Japan anytime in my high school years.

And as soon as I got there I will update here and contact Ai and meet her and go to karaoke.
I really really want to go to Japanese karaoke.
Like you can find any Japanese song you like.
Even anime songs.

Just thinking about it makes me really excited.
I can't wait.

Lately, I'm really having an UtaPri fever.
Yes because the DVD of the 3rd stage live has been released since 6 days ago.
I wanted to buy the original DVD, but sadly it is over 5000 JPY,
and if I buy it online the price will be 2 times higher.
If I ever go to Japan I'll surely buy the original DVD.

So I was just scrolling my Facebook newsfeed
And I found a post which reminds me that the 3rd stage DVD has been released.
And I also see the download link for the backstage and the main event.
It's around 2 GB, but it's worth waiting.

Damn they are all cool.
Especially the senpai group, Quartet Night.

all gif made by me. tumblr post [x]

Would you look at them.

I literally screamed on Tattsun.
He's like the god of fanservice because whenever he's singing on the stage he'll do something
that'll make the fans scream.
I want to hug him.

And Shouta raised his pinky like the pinky swear while singing the "Promise to you" line.
I couldn't take it and I just hugged my pillow while holding my tears.

And Maeno.
Look at that hip of his.
His leg.

His body reminds me of Asahina Natsume.
He's his seiyuu and their body looks similar.

And I spotted something interesting when they performed the song "Quartet Night".

tumblr post [x]

Shouta posed like Ai.
I just cannot.

And I watched the backstage too.


The backstage video is basically the stupid things these dorks did while waiting for
their turn to show up on stage.
I love backstage videos. It's full of cute things.


I don't really have anything to say about my life lately.
It's just me and new songs that I found.
Some of them are not new, just some songs that I recently listened to.

I should tell you about it because they're all catchy songs.

  1. Shining Theatrical Troupe (Ranmaru, Camus, Tokiya, Ren) - JOKER TRAP (check this cover too. It's so cool and their voices are really similar)
  2. Himori Kei (CV. Hatano Wataru) - diamond dust (it really gives you a warm feeling)
  3. OLDCODEX - Tag On The Strain (I've never heard Tattsun sing something sad before, and the melody and lyrics in this song sounds sad. You should listen to it too)
  4. Kurosaki Ranmaru - WILD SOUL (I don't know, it feels different from other UtaPri songs so I like it)
  5. Cecil (CV. Toriumi Kousuke) & Ren (CV. Suwabe Junichi) - Baby! My strawberry! (THIS IS SUPER CATCHY PLUS IF YOU LIKE SEXY VOICES THIS SONG IS PERFECT. And it kinda gives you the SM feeling)
I recommend this 5 songs for you.

Well then.
See you next time.
Hopefully tomorrow.